Three Stars And A Sun April 2, 2010

And another month has passed with just one post from me.  A friend told me she’d check on my blog almost everyday anticipating a new post, but there hasn’t been much for 2 months now.  She said I was taking my blog way too seriously — thinking and rethinking what to post when in fact, blogging should be free-wheeling and free-spirited, like the other blogs she visits often. They don’t have to be long and poetic, just interesting.

And it got me to thinking… I suppose I do take it seriously, having a shortlist of topics, making an outline, gathering data — wait!  What is this, a research paper?!? I guess I have been taking blogging so seriously then! As Simon Cowell of American Idol would say, “You have sucked the SOUL out of the SONG!” In my case, I have sucked the beauty out of blogging — that spontaneity and sincerity of just speaking your mind and sharing your thoughts in smooth, solid storytelling.

So with renewed confidence and frame of mind, I have taken to blogging with less strain, BUT with that same sassy style of writing that is uniquely MINE!

Enough with the disclaimer, on with the entry, but still on the topic of being serious.

One thing I take seriously, which I won’t compromise, is friendship. Over my 35-year lifetime, I have been fortunate enough to have formed really good relationships with certain individuals.  Now this isn’t really a unique thing, every other person’s surely got a friend or two, but no, for me, the best ones come in threes.

I’ve gotten to realize that my best friendships are those that came in 3s. At certain times in my life, I had a close relationship with certain people, “best friends” if you may, that’s got their own special vibe of course (yes, you’ll get your own special feature soon), but for some reason, I also seem to find myself in friendships made for three. And to that I say, two is good… but maybe, three is better!

This picture may look recent, but this friendship spans our childhood years.  Way back in the 70′s, my sister, Judy and I struck a friendship with our neighbor, Laarni.  Ate was 5, Arni was 4 and I was 3. She was our neighbor who lived a house away. Together we  flitted around in our ruffled panties as afternoon playmates, we did summer elocution contests, were Paulinians together, played Nancy Drew role-playing games, boardgames, patintero, taguan, touching ball and that hanky game. We even danced to Menudo’s “Like A Cannonball” in a basketball court during a Christmas contest that later merged us to become a dancing group during basketball halftimes. We also bonded over books and reading and those early “puppy loves.” I’d go visit her house (and use her phone) but we really just talked and talked! She stayed in St. Paul as we moved to St. Scho, Arni and I were reunited in college and catching up was far and few when we all started working. Still the memories of our childhood would never be void of Laarni and her family, and all the English we spoke to one another!

High school and college saw many groups of friends — from classmates to orgmates — barkadas here and there. They say some of your lasting friendships are formed in college and that saying was true for me. Cherie, Luwi and I were part of a freshman block in June of 1991. We didn’t exactly hang out together for the next 4 years (we had orgs/boyfriends/different classes) yet every year since graduation, we met up, albeit once a year, and chatted a storm over lunch. Then we’re good for another 12 months before we met again. Seeing each other and talking was like a yearly retreat — from confessions to counseling to conversion, we were like sounding boards to each one’s plans and problems. Both now have families of their own and have remained my “faculty advisers.” Now I’ve come a long way since college — a lot has changed, yet I love how I could go back to the young, carefree version of “me” when I am with them! We would often say “we used to be 16, now we’re 36!” Its a countdown to our 40′s!

It has been said that some bonds are formed during extreme situations.  Enter the workplace! No, it wasn’t a torture chamber but it did feel like we were in a boiling pot of water. There were actually 8 of us newbies in 1996, but the three of us — Monet, Leah and I — with a combined total weight of 85+80+95, were insanely glued together as trial counselors.

This is probably our first picture together. Don’t we all look so young? We don’t look crazy here (because it was my test presentation day and they were my opening and closing prayers) but the three of us formed a crazy bond, talking, analyzing, processing over and over about boyfriends and breakups, family life and the future; we spent our first paychecks at Kenny Rogers, watched movies together, tried on clothes we weren’t really gonna buy and capped the year with an overnight visit to Leah’s at Batangas. We had a couple of fights (they vs. me), tears and tantrums too, but we all charged it to growing up and getting to know each other. With another friend, we were the Sex And The City girls (Monet was Miranda, Leah was Carrie and well, its your pick if I’m Charlotte or Samantha!) Well, they’ve both since moved on from LSGH but I wouldn’t have made it through my first 3 years in La Salle and my baptism of early adulthood without their loving support and all the girl-power you would ever need!

There was another special time in my life where my eyes were opened to a whole new world of the fun and the fabulous. My ever-generous friend Rhea, along with Mayette, invited me to stay with her at her condo in Wack-Wack while she finished her last year in Dentistry at UE. Now we’ve known each other around the neighborhood but were never close (Rhea and Mayette were as were Mayette and I, but never Rhea and me). But the delicious surprise was that Rhea and I got along so super very well. With those 2, I got to feel the high-roller kind of life — cars, restaurants, shows, plays, night life, bars, boys, condo living, casinos, country club memberships, cellphones, telephones, trips and swimming all-you-want. Contrary to what you might be thinking, it made me appreciate my “real” life with my own family more and just really thankful for those 10 months I felt what it was like to be rich.

But in spite of all the fun we had, the other eye-opener was that when it comes to heartaches and sad times, the playing field is just as level as could be. I saw too, the times Rhea cried over a breakup and how her mom cried over a fight they had, and so did Yette and her boy blues and work conflicts. Somehow, I thought maybe that was the “reason” I had to be there — because a problem would come and I was the one who would help them tide it over. But, all’s well that ends well now! It was an escapade like no other, and that it was short-lived made it all the more sweeter!

Time for the grown-up world and the ones who kept me afloat at about that time was Janel and Mia. Janel was the voice of reason, Mia was the voice of wisdom and I was the comic relief. For 5 years, they were the katig to my seemingly hopeless and hapless existence. I was back in the reality of my own life and the endless mishaps I was getting involved in. But I wasn’t a lost cause, mind you, the three of us had such a formidable friendship that exists till today. Our Galeria days, FX rides, TV viewing, movies, eat-outs, phone chats over parents, people, friends, issues and everything under the sun, embody the struggles of a single girl in the city. They were my calming drug whenever I got too hyper, they were the first to pin me down when I got too pushy. My regrets are down to 1 though, they sure taught me so much, I just wish I was able to teach them something of my own too. And on hindsight, this friendship was probably the reason I had an escalating weight gain by the early 2000 — with all our Tokyo Tokyo sumo meals and KFC kulang ang isa, sobra ang dalawa! Janel and Mia remain to be close friends but as a group, we hope to be reunited in CDO and make it memorable like our time in Bangkok (with matching hats and body bags)!

The year 2005 and 2006 were tumultuous — my transfer to CENTRO and my papa’s passing away. Both left me shattered and those two standing with me in the picture above did so much more than help me pick up the pieces, they helped me put everything in their proper place. Julie and Jigger have been friends for a while now and my “entrance” to their friendship hovered under some clouds of conflict.  But that storm has passed and the sun has long come out. We first bonded over driving, people, places and events, that later turned into finances and family, relationships and retirement, careers and causes. The best compliment I got from these two was how lucky they feel to have me for a friend and that I was  a great friend to have after all (at first they didn’t like me, but that was when I was my “old” self! Hahaha!) All in all, it is a more mature and stable friendship where I am more myself than ever before and I just love, love, love the “me” that I have become with them. I feel like I am finally at home. And so, I would forever be grateful for the soul inspiring and mind renewing friendship we share that mirrors the true essence of responsibility and maturity leading to a serene existence.

At a time I thought forming friendships was over, heck I already have more than enough fill of friends, one just sprouted out of nowhere along SLEX. We were initially a group of 5 playing Sunday badminton in a court somewhere in Marikina. We’d cap the night off with coffee at Figaro and talk till way past midnight. Then the 4 of them went off abroad one by one and I was left in my lonesome. It was a friendship alright, but more of a group bond for a couple of months. Just a year ago, Jeni came home and Carol and I took her on a trip to Tagaytay. At that point we were three separate individuals who suddenly became enmeshed in a tissue moment that changed our relationship for good. We became each other’s conscience in a way that was separate from all the things we already know. Being high school Kulasas of Batch 91 was a common ground and our badminton time together was the initial thread that tied us together but we’re way past that now. Jeni’s in Virginia and Carol’s in Miami and because of that we’re called Sisters in Skype and yes, we truly have that “sisterhood spirit” across the miles, where secrets are shared, secrets are revealed!

Today, some of these “threes” may now simply exist in the past, while some are present and enduring. But it doesn’t diminish the importance of the impact they all had on my life. In a mix of old and new photos, the common thing you see is me and how I shared all of myself to them in that special time in our lives. The bond remains — they were there for me in the highs and lows of life. They make my single life worth the journey. And I’d be bold enough to say I’m an unforgettable friend you wouldn’t regret having for the rest of your life! Past is past — but the memories live forever!

My dear friends, with much love!